Frustrated and Almost Out of Time

Why do I hate myself and the world so often when I try so hard to make things good and right? 

Is it because no matter how hard I try or how much I do I keep falling behind?

I admit to losing a lot of motivation this year and thinking things are less than they really are. I do avoid things but I can't change it. I've been struggling and I think I'm burnt out. I don't want to say I've peaked, but looking at work I did two years ago compared to now makes me want to I back and be good again. I'm in a constant struggle and I like to tell myself that it's been getting better when it hasn't. I can't stand looking at all of the work I have to do between today and tomorrow, today and Friday, today and next Friday. It is hours and hours of work and I keep telling myself it'll be okay and I'll get everything done in time but in reality, I see no way. I can't stay up anymore, I can't wake up early, I have lost the ability to physically push through to get work done. It makes me feel  weak. I used to be able to, no problem. I spend more time frustrated than actually doing the work and I can't get myself to actually work because I just end up lost and confused anyway. It's a constant battle with myself and I'm losing, I'm always losing. 

Thanks for tuning in to my thoughts and I hope you took at least one thing from this.