Okay, so normally I don't like stories my mom tells me, and right now I'm trying to do homework, but she didn't stop talking a minute ago so I listened to her. Yesterday she was on the bus going to my basketball game in SLO and after missing the first one she was able to get on the next one. On this bus she somehow was by a man who was showing people his stomach. I was trying to tune her out but then she mentioned something about a large sum of money, an amount I didn't even know she had, so I made her tell me again.
The man was just discharged from a hospital and had something to do with his intestines being out. He was showing the people on the bus the clamp on his stomach. Apparently he was a homeless man who didn't do drugs, but he'd been in an out of prison for twenty years. My mom could really relate to that and gave him money. A lot of money. The sum of which made me very upset when I heard the amount at first. Did she not realize what that money can go to? My graduation stuff, my laptop I'm saving for, anything for me! Then after hearing about how he carries his sleeping bag to the public library to sleep and that he can no longer do that, how the hospital kicked him out for not having insurance and the workers didn't even care if he came back to the hospital for the clamp coming undone, how he was holding his own intestines at some point, how he has nowhere sanitary to sleep at night, I understand why my mom gave him the money. She said that he gave her a hug and said, "God bless you." She told me that she was thinking that he already had.
Then I realized how selfish I was. This man had his organs in his own hands at one point, had no clean home to go back to, and I was complaining about my mom giving him money! I hadn't heard the whole context surrounding this action. This is how life is. This is life. Like I can't describe how this story makes me feel. I felt anger then remorse and guilt. I had just donated to charity for p4a and I got mad at my mom for practically doing the same. What's wrong with me? Well this definitely made me step back and think. Who am I and what do I want to accomplish? I think of myself as a good person and now I don't think so as much. I think I wouldn't have had the same kind of reaction if I had really been listening the first time. Everything happens for a reason. So I need to understand the bigger picture and not think so much about myself so often, especially in the way of complaining less. It seems to me that all I talk to my friends about is why my life sucks and my school struggles. I promised not to complain to them anymore on Friday, actually.
Back on track, though, this also made me think of what time of year it is. This year has felt the least like the holidays than the past Halloweens, Thanksgivings, and Christmases I've had. Holidays just aren't the same anymore. Maybe it comes with the time period we now live in or just with growing up. But, as the phrase (somewhat) goes, 'tis the season to give. We should all learn to be more empathetic and selfless because it's the right thing to do. We are so selfish and it's nice to let someone have a sliver of what he or she deserves as a human being. The holiday season has been built up to be a time of joy and happiness. The parade was a good example of giving because of the canned food crowd members brought for the ones in need in our community. You don't know what other people go though and the smallest actions could make the greatest difference in someone's life. Please give more and be less selfish, advice to myself and to everyone else reading this.
No comments:
Post a Comment