Reading List

The next part is to read a book related to my topic.
There are not youtuber books, but journalism is also an interest and so I decided to look that up.

Here is where I found A Reading List for Future Journalists and the books I'm interested in are:
Desert Solitaire (Edward Abbey)
The Things They Carried (Tim O'Brien) which coincidentally I have at my house right now becasue my brother asked me to check out the book from the public library,and the one I'll most likely start out with
The Collected Essays, Journalism and Letters, Volume II (George Orwell) this interests me becasue it's author, I have 1984 on my shelf and I really want to read it, so one of the two by him will probably be number 2 book
Roughing It (Mark Twain) Twain, yes
On Writing (Stephen King) So I've heard the name of him around a lot because he's an author of this time, right? This book helps your writing and it's peaked my interest

I want to read An Abundance of Katherines by John Green asap, though, too.

Masterpiece/Semester Number Two

     My topic is very loose right now. I have come to enjoy photography, video, and writing. Many of my previous posts show my interest in these subjects. I'm not sure how I want to tackle this, though. I could study the different mediums in which information is conveyed to us, or the artistic pov. Maybe how everything shapes our lives. I am not very sure at all.
     I was introduced to a couple of youtubers, Jack and Finn Harries, by Alyssa summer before junior year and was entertained enough to keep up with their videos, look at their collaborators, follow them on social media, find their friends who have blogs, and be in such awe at what they are able to do. These people inspire me to go out into the world. I have wanted to travel since I was a little girl, but watching these people online actually go out and do it gives me courage and confidence to pursue it. The cinematography and photography is just so good and I wish I could do that, too. They've had years and years of experience and I have not, so starting out I'm going to be terrible haha. I care because it's amazing stuff. So many of the people I keep up with help charities, like Project for Awesome by the vlogbrothers. I think I love this community so much because I can relate to the people online and like what they're saying, doing, showing me. I don't want to say I'm shy or quiet because I don't think I am, to others I might be, but I am more introverted, I believe, so by watching these things in the comfort of my own room makes me feel at peace, relaxed, and like an individual in a way if that makes sense. I love the creativity and freedom that these people have, I know that I would 'kill' to be a part of that group. Most of them are kick-ass photographers and make me want to cry with how beautiful their photos are.
     Okay, well if I educate on the youtube stuff I can maybe help the generation before me understand how the internet has not only helped with looking things up, but with giving people voices and finding their purposes in life. It connects the people of the world with one another. I know my parents wouldn't believe me if I said that I chatted with someone from England online today haha, but the reality is that I have that ability to do exactly that. It can encourage those who don't think that this stuff is worth anything to take a look. I would love to dedicate more time to dissecting videos and learning techniques for making cool stuff. I'm hoping that through this sort of topic or overall idea I might find what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. Even though I really don't want to know because I have a fear of pinning myself to something I'll hate once it begins, finding my niche would be very exciting after a semester of mass turmoil about it.
     Academic disciplines needed will include the following: literature, linguistics, history, social studies, music, psychology, arts, sociology, transportation, journalism, media studies, communication, a bit of cultural and ethnic studies...
     Plan includes spending more time with the work of a select group of people's work and trying to find common traits, uncommon traits, uniqueness... I'm going to do a lot of observing to begin with. Then I'll look into the making of. Later I can move onto audience reception. This is cool, I'm actually making a plan about something! It'd be really amazing to actually talk to these people through the internet, but I will need a plan of action before contacting them.
     Uhhhh, I have no idea bout resources needed...yet.
     Tools... I might want to start a new tab on this blog for my ideas and progress. I might write it all in a journal, too. I like writing in a notebook and with this it might be something that I feel more comfortable doing even though it's old school. I'm feeling like a long analysis or personal journey of some soft that would flow in a journal much nicer than if I typed it, but with a new laptop I don't know.
     Very impressed at how I thought this all up on the fly, a plan looks like it's actually forming now :)

Merry Christmas

Happy Holidays to all!
Best physical present has to be the new laptop I'm making this post from. I had no idea it was coming.
The other gift has been the friendships I've strengthened over this school year. The Christmas text messages meant the world to me.
I'm excited for the future semester and my last five months of high school, especially what we're going to accomplish in this English class!

Final Assignment

My first idea was to bing plates, utensils, napkins because I don't have a family recipe or anything. It would represent myself in that I feel like I'm there for support, yet I'm under appreciated. (S/o to the sphinx crew who had me at the top of the leader board for a while) With the plates and cups I'm literally holding everyone else('s food) up. I also didn't know if anyone else was going to bring this stuff and we'd eat with our hands.

Then I guessed that I should also bring something else along and it wasn't until 7:30 pm that I found some treat ideas on, none other than, Pinterest! I went shopping at two stores with my mom an my sister for supplies. I came back home, ate, and began work before ten. I ended, the last one awake, at like 1:20 am. I can't remember when I stayed up this late for homework haha! My priorities...

Here's what I was doing:

We Are Righetti Update

As some of you may know, Lukas, Alec, and I have a blog called We Re Righetti to let he world know (after recent events) how great the students at our school actually are! Below is where you can learn what we're looking for! You can email your story to wearerighetti@gmail.com

"As Righetti students we are generalized into a general populous and when a small group of students makes poor decisions we all get made out as those students. The We Are Righetti blog is for the rest of the students to share their stories, accomplishments, challenges, and thoughts to show the rest of the community that we are amazing individuals with our own brilliant stories.  Share your story and show that YOU are Righetti."

Finals Week

Just in case anyone needs the schedule!

Okay well this should be an interesting week. I kind of have no hope for a couple of grades that are 3% away from the next letter grade. One of those finals is today, oh well. 

Literature Analysis #1

A Separate Peace by John Knowles
(one of my favorites tbh. I read this book freshman year and wanted to dive deeper into it in a literature analysis. It was one of the six or so books that I've cried reading [It started at remembering three, but then I started to think back at all of the 'cry books' and saw how large the list actually is]. I'm not going to lie, I started this analysis way, way, way too late. Although I have not given myself much time to complete, I have stopped to read the book again and with a much better understanding than before. It's amazing what three years can do.)

1. Inciting incident: page 52 Gene shakes the tree branch
2. Theme:  Competition brings out the best and the worst in people. Gene and Phineas were never really competing with one another, and even though Gene thought it was some big thing he knew that Finny was just amazing and didn't have to try at anything. It's all about jealousy and trust. I cringe at some of the things Gene tells Finny that are lies. He knows the truth about him causing the fall (page 59)and at Finny's hospital bed he denies being at fault. 
3.  
4. Edition: Bantam  1975

      "The Super Suicide Society of the Summer Session!" page 24. Alliteration: It showed me the darker side of the story after reading back through it. Gene and Finny created a fun social group for friends of theirs to hang out with during the summertime. There's sarcasm and infliction of the tone in this. This book is pretty dark when you think about it. Humanity can be dark and cruel, but disguised as something full of pleasure.
     "If he jumps out of that tree I'm Mahatma Gandhi." page 49. Allusion: So obviously Gene wasn't Gandhi and he was basically saying what we say all of the time, kind of like "when pigs fly". Leper was supposed to jump off the tree branch into the water for his initiation into the society that evening and as Gene pointed out before, he was a chicken.

     "At his touch I lost all hope of controlling myself. I burst out crying into my hands; I cried for Phineas and for myself and for this doctor who believed in facing things. Most of all I cried because of kindness, which I had not expected." page 57-58. Gene shook the tree branch to cause Phineas to fall and shatter his leg. It was all his fault and he has the guilt and blame for it all, but nobody accuses him so he must live with it all, not even having to defend himself which is worse than denying it.

     "It would not be just a thunderbolt." page 61. Metaphor: Gene is talking about breaking the news to Finny that he was the one who did it. He can't just come out and shock him, he needed to ease it in the conversation somehow.
     "Listen, pal, if I can't play sports, you're  going to play them for me," and I lost part of myself to him then, and a soaring sense of freedom revealed that this must have been my purpose from the first: to become a part of Phineas." page 77. Phineas couldn't play sports again and was going to live through Gene. It's a big part of the story because it transitions from the boys being separated to almost one.
     "Not that it would be a good life. The war would be deadly alright. But I was used to finding something deadly in things that attracted me; there was always something deadly lurking in anything I wanted, anything I lived. And if it wasn't there, as for example with Phineas, then I put it there myself." page 92. 

 CHARACT "Finny in a light blue polo shirt and I in a T-shirt. I noticed that people were looking fixedly at him, so I took a look myself to see why. His skin radiated a reddish copper glow of tan , his brown hair had been a little bleached by the sun, and I noticed that the tan made his eyes shine with a cool blue-green fire." page 39

"Edlwin 'Leper' Lepellier" page 49

Personality Test

     So as I've been sitting at my computer, sort of avoiding my schoolwork, listening to/watching the live stream for p4a and texting my friend, Jaymie, she suggested a personality test to me that she took. I took it and we compared our results. We've been discussing for the past forty-five minutes, actually. It's pretty accurate and interesting! It gives you explanations in a lot of areas. She's gotten two friends and her parents to take the test, I challenge you! http://www.16personalities.com/
     My result was ISFP and gave me a confidence boost because it basically told me what I've been realizing this year! I'm more creative and can't do the whole 9-5 office job, I'd rather be into photography- I've literally been saying that for moths now! I kind of do have a sense of knowledge about myself and it told me that I don't do well with the same thing every day, just like I've been saying. It was great reading what I think now, after months of self-realization and it's pretty awesome that what I say isn't just crazy stuff. Check it out for yourself :)

I change during the course of a day. I wake and I'm one person, and when I go to sleep I know for certain I'm somebody else.

Bob Dylan

the Season of Giving

     Okay, so normally I don't like stories my mom tells me, and right now I'm trying to do homework, but she didn't stop talking a minute ago so I listened to her. Yesterday she was on the bus going to my basketball game in SLO and after missing the first one she was able to get on the next one. On this bus she somehow was by a man who was showing people his stomach. I was trying to tune her out but then she mentioned something about a large sum of money, an amount I didn't even know she had, so I made her tell me again.
     The man was just discharged from a hospital and had something to do with his intestines being out. He was showing the people on the bus the clamp on his stomach. Apparently he was a homeless man who didn't do drugs, but he'd been in an out of prison for twenty years. My mom could really relate to that and gave him money.  A lot of money. The sum of which made me very upset when I heard the amount at first. Did she not realize what that money can go to? My graduation stuff, my laptop I'm saving for, anything for me! Then after hearing about how he carries his sleeping bag to the public library to sleep and that he can no longer do that, how the hospital kicked him out for not having insurance and the workers didn't even care if he came back to the hospital for the clamp coming undone, how he was holding his own intestines at some point, how he has nowhere sanitary to sleep at night, I understand why my mom gave him the money. She said that he gave her a hug and said, "God bless you." She told me that she was thinking that he already had.
     Then I realized how selfish I was. This man had his organs in his own hands at one point, had no clean home to go back to, and I was complaining about my mom giving him money! I hadn't heard the whole context surrounding this action. This is how life is. This is life. Like I can't describe how this story makes me feel. I felt anger then remorse and guilt. I had just donated to charity for p4a and I got mad at my mom for practically doing the same. What's wrong with me? Well this definitely made me step back and think. Who am I and what do I want to accomplish? I think of myself as a good person and now I don't think so as much. I think I wouldn't have had the same kind of reaction if I had really been listening the first time. Everything happens for a reason. So I need to understand the bigger picture and not think so much about myself so often, especially in the way of complaining less. It seems to me that all I talk to my friends about is why my life sucks and my school struggles. I promised not to complain to them anymore on Friday, actually.
     Back on track, though, this also made me think of what time of year it is. This year has felt the least like the holidays than the past Halloweens, Thanksgivings, and Christmases I've had. Holidays just aren't the same anymore. Maybe it comes with the time period we now live in or just with growing up. But, as the phrase (somewhat) goes, 'tis the season to give. We should all learn to be more empathetic and selfless because it's the right thing to do. We are so selfish and it's nice to let someone have a sliver of what he or she deserves as a human being. The holiday season has been built up to be a time of joy and happiness. The parade was a good example of giving because of the canned food crowd members brought for the ones in need in our community. You don't know what other people go though and the smallest actions could make the greatest difference in someone's life. Please give more and be less selfish, advice to myself and to everyone else reading this.

J. Alfred Prufrock

The Love Story of J. Alfred Prufrock
I found my print out of the poem from sophomore year and used it for the discussion and reading. My notes all over the place really helped. Unfortunately I lost the papers momentarily and in two days I can post photos of the poem. For now, here is the link http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poem/173476

In class we talked about a lot. Large group talk turned into a lot of little chats then came back to the big talk a few times. Here are some of the main points that I took from the discussion this past week.

• J. Alfred Prufrock: the name is so big and grand, like John Hancock or someone else important in history, yet he hasn't amounted to anything really. Miles pointed that out. Alyssa and Imanie pointed out the irony, I believe.
• Prufrock is like evaluating his life and all the chances that he never took, all of the missed opportunities that he missed, everything that never happened he now regrets.
• It's sad how he's an old man now, full of regret. An old man rolling up his trousers, maybe from shrinking in his old age, but mostly getting ready to walk on the beach, as the poem ends. Alec mentioned how walking on the beach is a romantic thing that couples do and that he is all alone now without a woman.
• the yellow smoke is feline and womanish. It's also man-made problems that he's been consumed with.
• the teaspoons he measures his life in are his own perception of time. We wondered why there wasn't another item used to measure. Teaspoons are so small, meaning that his life dragged on for a long time possible
• The women "coming and going speaking of Michalangelo" could have meant a lot of things: they were educated women, they were always coming and going in and out of Prufrock's life, they were into another man besides him, comparing him to the masterpiece
• Lazarus could have been alluded to because he was given life again. Prufrock kind of realized himself way too late in his physical life and even though he has new realizations, his born-again-self won't be long lived. We related a bit to Christianity- like does Prufrock want to go to heaven?
• Liz and I talked about how in touch with reality he was throughout the poem. Was the dreaming? Like in the end when it says that "they wake us and we drown" or how he changes a lot during the whole thing. Is he physically growing old throughout? As a whole we all decided that he was old and going through his whole life.
• It's pretty sad as a whole. He's not able to act on his feelings inside. He wanted to be loved and never got it. Like Hamlet he struggled internally to act instead of just waiting for it to happen and he never did. Now's he's stuck with the sad realization of it and there's nothing he can do before he dies. Hamet was a character who, after all of this pain and agony, was able to fulfill his own wishes and complete his mission. Poor Prufrock kind of sucked at taking action. He had his whole life and nothing. 

Project for Awesome 2014

Project for Awesome going on NOW!!!
It's raising money for charity in exchange for cool stuff from/about John and Hank Green
I donated $15 and during that time the 2015 calendar was half off, so I now found a calendar for the next year! I'm very excited because I like yearly calendars and I have been worrying since it's almost January. Glad I could donate to charity and receive something I need :)
People make videos (these are normal people not sponsored to do so) to promote their favorite charities and the most voted on videos within a time period get money donated to those charities.
It runs from yesterday until today/ and you can donate through the sixteenth, I believe

Hank Green explains it here!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMDKaLvaRy4

EVERYTHING about it here!!!!
http://www.projectforawesome.com/

Where you can donate here!!!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/project-for-awesome-2014

Hamlet (The Madman) Essay #1

     Hamlet is not a madman, he is a genius. Hamlet expresses himself through his soliloquies and that is all that the background information we get, but those glimpses of knowledge only reveal Hamlet's feelings, the real magic still happens behind the scenes, inside Hamlet's mind.Through inductive reasoning we can infer that Hamlet's actions come from deep thought even though the audience isn't exposed to the thought process. We must work backwards to find that Hamlet actually knows exactly what he's doing because we've been trained to think that he's crazy from the stigma attached to the name of the play. Hamlet's actions and words don't go unplanned, through body language and crafty speech Hamlet is able to fool the other characters and even modern audiences that read the play.
     All of the reviews and "crap notes" tell us that Hamlet is crazy. They do so because the other characters in the play think so, too, and they're not going look deeper into the story. Hamlet, in Act I scene V, states "I have sworn't" after the ghost of old Hamlet tells him to get revenge. Young Hamlet had agreed to kill Claudius from the start. He had his head on straight and wasn't crazy. His first soliloquy was dramatic because that's how he truly felt and some of his early actions were due to his grieving a father and dealing with a betraying mother. He stated that to Rosecrantz and Guildenstern in brief when he caught them in their act of work for the king. He wasn't sure whether or not to trust them so he told them part of the truth. Some of his other actions like going to Ophelia half-dressed and seemingly confused were crafted. He knew that Ophelia was going to tell her father everything and therefore let Polonius into the know, or so the other characters thought. Hamlet wanted to plant an idea into Polonius' head so that he could tell King Claudius, who was going to believe Polonius. In no part of the play is the audience directly told of his motives, but he had sworn to kill his uncle and by making Claudius and everyone else around think that he's not all there anymore they're not going suspect that Hamlet is actually knowledgeable of pertinent information and has a plan.

Poetry Essay #1

     Working Together by David Whyte and The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost differ in content but also share one strong common trait. Although Whyte writes about the visible and invisible working together for a common cause and Frost about a decision choosing between two roads, both poems have an a narrator thinking about the intangible, what they don't know for sure is out there.
     The unknown is acknowledged in both poems. Whyte speaks in terms such as "The visible and the invisible" and "intangible" to speak about what he doesn't know. These elements are unseen and yet still have an impact us and influence our decisions. For example, in The Road Not Taken Frost bases his decision on whether he will travel the road more or less popular, and chooses the road uncharted with lesser certainty. By factoring in the unexplained, both poems end happily. There is no awe or curiosity in knowing everything, life has lost substance without wonder.

Hamlet Essay #2

     "Now cracks a noble heart." Shakespeare crafts Hamlet in an innovative and genius fashion. This quote is one if the most honest and informative lines in the play and is able to, in such a small amount of words, convey a lot about the will to succeed. Hamlet died fulfilling his self-prophesy and although it took an unorthodox path, he did it for the right reasons. 

     These are the first words spoken after Hamlet dies in the end of Act V. 

Intro to Poetry 12/2/14 And REMIX

Working Together

1. The significance of the title is that in the poem, the tangible and intangible work together to create something great

2. The tone is a light one with a lot I positivity and guidance

3. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right and realizing/ recognizing  the world around me- awareness

4. There was a shift, indeed. From "I am thinking of the way" to "easily holds our weights"

5. Theme is that if we trust in what we can and cannot see everything will turn out alright

These questions helped to clarify what I was feeling and thinking while reading through the first time. I didn't know about the airplane part at fist, going back through I was able to ask questions of my classmates and catch what I did miss.

GROUP REMIX
CLICK HERE TO SEE OUR GROUP REMIX OF THE POEM

Quick Hamlet Poetry Notes:

• To be or not to be - 11 syllables, inversion, weak/feminism end
• 5 feet, 2 syllables each- iambic pentameter
• only people who mattered spoke in IP

Frustrated and Almost Out of Time

Why do I hate myself and the world so often when I try so hard to make things good and right? 

Is it because no matter how hard I try or how much I do I keep falling behind?

I admit to losing a lot of motivation this year and thinking things are less than they really are. I do avoid things but I can't change it. I've been struggling and I think I'm burnt out. I don't want to say I've peaked, but looking at work I did two years ago compared to now makes me want to I back and be good again. I'm in a constant struggle and I like to tell myself that it's been getting better when it hasn't. I can't stand looking at all of the work I have to do between today and tomorrow, today and Friday, today and next Friday. It is hours and hours of work and I keep telling myself it'll be okay and I'll get everything done in time but in reality, I see no way. I can't stay up anymore, I can't wake up early, I have lost the ability to physically push through to get work done. It makes me feel  weak. I used to be able to, no problem. I spend more time frustrated than actually doing the work and I can't get myself to actually work because I just end up lost and confused anyway. It's a constant battle with myself and I'm losing, I'm always losing. 

Thanks for tuning in to my thoughts and I hope you took at least one thing from this.

END OF HAMLET

All of the emotions in paper and pencil 

I reread and figured out Laertes cut Hamlet, then their swords got mixed up and Hamlet cut Laertes, so they both got poisoned. And still they all die. Horatio was a really good guy. 

I APPLIED

     It's one in the a.m. and I just submitted my first applications, in bulk. I applied to, and still am applying to, a ton of schools because I'm not sure what I want, oops.
     Within the last thirty minutes I sent applications to Cal Poly, CSU Channel Island, UCI, UCSB, UCSD, and UCLA! I felt sick sending them, honestly. I had a wrinkled forehead and a chest caving in. We'll see what happens.
     I sent a few ACT scores and I might have bought more than I need, oops again. I still have to send a lot more and SAT scores, too, because I'm applying to a bunch more.
     Private schools I'm going to see how it goes: Westmont, Pepperdine, Loyola Marymount and probably Cal Lu, possibly USC.
     Top choices, maybe Cal Poly, Westmont, UCSB. Not really sure, I'm going to see where the wind takes me.
   
  A post I made on Instagram and I thought of putting it here, too.

So I submitted my first college applications on a Friday night at 1 a.m. and have practice at 9. I'm at this point in my life where I'm going to leave and experience what the world has to offer in a few short months, but I still have to live the life I have right now. It's definitely a challenge and I don't know what day it is half the time, but I still want to have a memorable senior year. That's where 'here' is for me, how about you?

Hamlet Act V Scene I, II

Act V

Scene I

• in graveyard garden place

•does she, ophelia, go to heaven or not

•To act to do to perform- a performative utterance

•"custom hath made it in him a property of easness" he is desensitized 

•hamlet is talking to the grave digger about himself but the guy didnt know it 

•"alas, poor yorick! I know him, horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy"

•a lot of time, like years and years have passed. Hamlet is like 30 now but we have no straying age

•grandest among us can be made as humble as the lowest

•laertes and priest at the funeral

•hamlet and horatio in corners

•hamlet interrupts and is back!

•hamlet didn't know she was dead and really did love Ophelia

•"the dog will have its day"

Scene II

•in castle hall

•the king and laertes plan

•on the boat, hamlet found rose and guild, found king's orders, opened it, scheming, command to kill him

•hamlet wrote his own plan and replaced the king's orders

Hamlet Act IV Scene I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII

Act IV
Scene I

• Gertrude tattle tales to king that Hamlet killed polonius
• King tells Rose and Guild to go to Hamlet
• she says he's crazy
• "Both countenance and excuse" brush it off, they're going to play off the death like it was okay

Scene II

• Hamlet actually acts like a prince
• calls Rose and Guild sponges, very good insult
• hide polonius

Scene III

• King doesnt want people to ask why Hamlet is going away
• Hamlet now combines imperial, witty traits to respond to Claudius, he's more complex than nuisance 
• Clauduis is going to have Hamlet killed in England
• Hamlet is grown up, confident, cool, calm

Scene IV

• Hamlet has different ethos now
• in countryside, on his way to England
• with Fortinbras, captain, soldiers
• Captain- we're going to fight over something worthless
• Hamlet soliloquy #5
• inner cause
• he compares himself to the captain
• circumstances make it more difficult but want to more
• what's a man if he just sleeps and eats
• He has created us with purpose and intelligence
• now and future
• talks about procrastinating and hating himself
• hearing about the army reminds him of his action
• he makes himself miserable again
• benefit of not thinking and taking action
• the soldiers go do their jobs, why can't he- soldier thoughts in end

Scene V

• Ophelia is crazy
• Ophelia is singing to king and queen
• her dead father, love, other "love", she's hurt
• Claudius seeing sprouts of his problems from his actions
• ophelia cant be sad about it so she's being like this (since death is supposed to be covered)
• she wants laertes to know about it
• Laertes arrives and he's pissed, he'll revenge his father
• Upset at Hamlet!

Scene VI

• Letter to Horatio
• Hamlet isn't on his way to England, but Rose and Guild are

Scene VII

• Letters to Claud and Laetres reads, too
• Laertes will obey if he can kill
• Laertes swordmanship
• Kill Hamlet
• Will duel, setup, w/real sword, poisoned tip
• king will poison drink
• Oh Shakespeare setting up something that will go very very wrong
• ophelia drowned, killed herself

Fire Alarms, Lockdowns, and Senior Quotes

November 19, 2014 was a historic day for Righetti High School. 

Fire alarm got pulled literally right after first period. WORST TIMING EVER. Like if you're going to pull the fire alarm, do it five minutes after the next class starts so teachers can take attendance and not be flustered like today. You are bad at timing and I hope you get yourself right because  if you can't even break the rules right, good luck with the rest of your life. 

Senior quotes due today!

And let's move to the lockdown! Liz and I were in Mrs. Hunter's room when the bells rang ten minutes earlier. Then we were released because it "wasn't a real lockdown" which was a lie since we walked to the 100 block and were shuffled into the cafeteria. Everyone was on their twitters and snapchats! Social media made this thing boom and everyone saw videos, voiced their opinions, and made jokes about it all. Through the windows we could see the abundance of officials and officers talking to principals and walking in groups. The kids inside were even interviewing one another. We were there until 1:55pm and we had to be almost escorted out to the one available exit. Outside I found my brother and agreed to take Elizabeth and her brother home so we had to wait in front of the school for Samuel and he was still in a classroom. My practice got cancelled and tutoring, too, so Elizabeth and I could go to the water polo game. We drove down Foster to pick up Samuel who was coming back from the Yoyo. There were so many law enforcement personnel, some firefighters, a helicopter, very casual. So it's all over the Internet and everyone is so opinionated, it makes me very frustrated because there isn't going to be a solution to everything. It was a lot in one day, why it all happened, I don't know. HELLO. How can you do this to yourself? To your school? Parents of these students, what the heck? What makes you fight someone in general, let alone on campus in front of everyone? You are the kind of people that give this school a bad reputation and ruin a lot of things for the other students, like me and my friends or kids who are just trying to make it though high school. I think that this whole thing is going to cause tension on campus and in the community. I am watching Freedom Writers in ASB and it's so weird to kind of see the connections, a few here and there. I'm really disappointed and annoyed about this entire situation, and I hope it all blows over soon. 

"I'm Going to College" a novel, or a BINDER

College binder put together two weeks before the applications are due. Typical Victoria. Better late than never is my motto for the first semester of senior year. 

Yearbook

Casually spent about 13 hours at the computer working on the yearbook because deadline is Monday and today, yesterday because now it's am the next day, I wanted to get it done. I have been texting Shailynn for about five hours i'd say as we worked together bLong story short, there was miscommunication and nobody knew the vision that Shailynn and I had for the book so when it came to it, nobody's, about three of sixty, pages looked presentable so Shailynn and I took it upon ourselves to fix it all up- do the yearbook on our own. It might sound bad, or selfish, but we want a good book. And next comes the worse news, we have like no photos when we get to making the pages so the same people tend to be on many, many pages- IM SORRY. It's one of the goals we tried to have- no same person in all pics- we just didn't have any other options! But I hope it's better than last year's. That's the real goal here, and I know that it's not perfect and believe me, if I could make it perfect I would, but it's something. I'm pretty satisfied with what I was given and I hope the fall portion doesn't scare you away and you want to see the rest of the book

Four Day Weekend

I need to recall my weekend to see when I did what so I can see where I wasted time and wasn't productive and figure out how I can change that, also to remember that I had a good weekend and if anyone asks what I did ...

Friday:
(Elizabeth's 18th birthday) present, school, math collab, appointment, picked up both sisters, practice, water polo game, home, met Mary Ann, subway, "casually purchased concert tickets," Maze Runner (for the third time) fell asleep halfway through haha.
Saturday:
took Justin to practice at 8, yearbook stuff at 9, practice at 10, don't remember(maybe homework), worked on the common app, went to Jaymie's for a long time
Sunday:
7:30 mass, church breakfast, livestream, don't remember (possible homework), caught up on Red Band Society, listened to Jaymie's CD, referee training and was awkward but helpful, don't  remember
Monday:
Up too early, Panera math study group, SM library for homework, home for food, Amanda's game at Arellanes with the fam, dinner, family game of spoons, youtube, sleeeep
Tuesday:
Up early in a great way, homework, 8:30 practice, homework, I've been doing Hamlet-y stuff for hours
Rest of today:
HOMEWORK

Notes on "The Performative Utterance in William Shakespeare's Hamlet"

Here's the link for the actual paper... click me!

• sounds very familiar to the way we've been talking about Hamlet in class
• first paragraph is brilliant; I wish I had such sophisticated vocabulary, syntax,and diction
• performative language acts has the power to change
• locutionary=message
• illocutinary=what's done in being sid
• perlocutionary=achieved
• characters realize what they say and do and realize themselves through this
• how only words affect Hamlet and make him sad and guilty
• what words used,their authenticity, context used in, matter
• he tells the players to basically not "out Hamlet, Hamlet"
• performative utterance = say it but not mean it
• Polonius is a narrowminded, pre-man
• Hamlet is a character who possesses so much
• he can "construct himself"
• Claudius is in between Polonius and Hamlet
• In the end, Hamlet had to achieve faith, closure, and acceptance not take action
• After the first paragraph I realized that I'm not fluent in reading to this caliber and had a rough time understanding many parts 

In Class Discussion

• what is said creates things, reality
• Hamlet- self-overhearing
• expectation created by ghost- locutionary
• perlocutionary- effect of forces
• self fulfilling prophesy? Builds on how he's not sure about killing gets worse, feeling
• he goes from "it sucks" to "i sick"
• performative utterance about others, too
• ***if words are just words, why do they matter????
• words are more
• the ones to prove ^
• polonius- words, claudius- action
• motivated by passion
• selfish- claudius situational irony and sees that king's answer isn't be answer hamlet doesnt kill
• Hamlet actually loses his temper to gertrude
• compare/contrast to other times he didnt get mad
• sits and thinks-that's her punishment
• Hamlet's a threat
• Claudius goes from confident to guilty
• Hamlet from tortured and awful to more attitude, knowing, cocky
• chorus in play- stand to sing explanations
• good resource in a play 
• polonius and hamlet are kind of foils
• Hamlet gets mad because
• rush of killing, knowing he's right, confronting gertrude
• hold up a mirror "you go not till i set you up in a glass" to see her soul
• her panic started it all
• verbal daggers to gertrude
• hearing ourselves say something
• transforms words into actions (hamlet)
• lets out more words (polonius) as he dies, true to character
• hamlet has more integrity
• he's ready to kill Claudius
• the murder was a catalyst- "self overhearing"
• ghost still wants hamelt to have a realtionship with his mom
• hamlet tells gertrude not to tell Claudius 

Hamlet Act III Scene I, II, III, IV

Act III

Scene I

• Guildenstern and Rosencrantz telling king and queen about how they saw Hamlet. They see his “crafty madness” and “forcing disposition”
• By looking like we’re doing the right thing we can show everyone- Polonius and Claudius
• Claudius shows his guilt
• Ophelia being set up to get info from hamlet
• Hamlet talking to Ophelia, rejects her, it’s easier to be beautiful and dishonest than honest and following that. Sees this in his mom
• All people hamlet talks to have a motive
• Women corrupt men
• Word madness = crazy or actually angry
• Claudius and Polonius were listening
• Claudius sees that it wasn’t bec of love, it was a little jumbled, he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him or Hamlet, he wants the potential problem removed (hamlet)
• Polonius to Claudius, after the play, have Gertrude talk to Hamlet and he’ll listen secretly

Scene II

• Hall in castle, players with Hamlet
• Hamlet directs the players to act naturally, But also make it genuine
• It’s so logically and specifically set up that hamlet cannot be crazy, he’s super smart
• Don’t improvise
• Hamlet explains the plan to Horatio
• Hamlet asks horatio to watch king as the play goes on to double check what he sees
• he trusts Horatio
• when people come in he tells horatio that he's gunna act weird, acts crazy to the king, polonius,and Ophelia (makes comments to)
• the play goes on and when the poison is poured in to the king's ear, Claudius yells for the lights to turn on and leaves, everyone going after him excpet hamlet and horatio

Scene III

• hamlet is escorted by polonius to Gertrude
• polonius goes to king and tels him that he's going to spy, king who had just asked guildenstern and rosenctrantz to immediately take hamlet to England
• the king is alone and is guilty. We get to see the king really express himself and what he feels, sin as old as cane and able, he is not willing to give up the crown, falls on ground to pray
• hamlet comes to take the life of the king but sees that he's praying,cant kill him bec then he'd go to heaven and that would defeat the whole revenge thing
• claudius's praying wasn't truthful and meaningful, so hamelt totally couldve killed him but it shows how hamelt thinks through his decsions

Scene IV

• hamlet goes back to the queen's room, polonius is hiding behind a curtain
• queen is upset at hamlet for disrepecting his father (claudius) and hamlet fires back with her disrepecting his father (hamlet)
• queen is freakin out a bit cause hamlet is tad upset and she's getting scared so she screams, then polonius is moving fro the curtain and hamlet just goes for it and stabs the guy with a sword in the body, killing him
• he didn't know it was polonius and after the queen makes a comment he calls her out for killing hamlet and marrying his brother
• so polonius is dead on the ground and gertrude and hamlet are still talking, he's mad at her and asking why she married such an awful person and shows her old hamlet next to claudius, she's seeing how bad she was and pleads for him to stop but he wont
• the ghost of Hamlet comes back, but only Hamlet can see him
• the queen thinks he's crazy
• the ghost reminds him that his job is to kill claudius and to make peace with gertrude, she cant see the ghost and thinks he's crazy still,even though hamlet tells her that he was faking being crazy and not to tell claudius (she's only sayin yes because she's still freaked from him going off on her)
• he's burdenend by the sin of killing polonius
• he ends up dragging his body from the room
• he has to go to england with rose and guild and knows that theyre not loyal to him

'To Be Or Not To Be' Breakdown and Performance

• To be the person that I want to be or just stay the same
• When you did/didn’t do something or anything changed your life
• Present or not/ responsible for yourself or not
• Take it all in or stand up for myself and end it
• Is that the way to endure? Discouraged, inconvenient
• Conquering external/internal struggles/troubles
• To die, to sleep, no more = no consciousness = no more awareness of problems
• If I could just have a quick fix solution
• Death of a character now, who/what’s left behind
• We don’t know what it’s going to be like after we make decisions
• Everything you do you have limited time, the man’s abuse, pride in speech, feelings not reciprocated, things taking so long when it should be quick, spurns (rejection/insults) that Hamlet’s enduring
• Metaphorically can end it all so soon: fardles (hard work) bear
• But he goes back, conscience
• Taking action gets delayed
• After I do anything- fear of not right now
• Orisons (prayers), remember me in your prayers, I’m going to do something bad, not sure if it’s right
• With this regard, things don’t get done

Performance Coming Soon...
Excuse my face and my voice and my mistakes and any other faults there are in this video, SORRY.

Actually I shouldn't have to apologize for anything, but I'm still self-conscious 

Wednesday 11/5/14

Update on my life at the moment. Good news today (one of top five in my class, still competitive for valedictorian), bad news today (I'm not sure how I can get everything done, at all, like at all at all, like excessive crying for two hours on a Wednesday crying unsure). Yeaaaaah. 

A 'It's November' Update (question mark, question mark, inverted question mark)

It has been well over a week since I last posted! I don't know how long it will be until I get back into the swing of this again- I've been so busy trying to handle things and get my self back together! It's November now and that means I have only a few weeks to finish college applications and I think we all know by now how far along I am with those. On the bright side I managed to earn myself a C- by progress report deadlines in AP physics and I can get my scholar athlete patch in tennis. Yay! Also, basketball has begun and I'm stoked, senior year should be a good time. I'm really hoping that my schedule can finally balance out. I have a plan of action for the week, will I be able to accomplish it all? Probably not, but I'm really, really hoping that I can. I just can't physically keep myself awake to get it all done anymore. It's Tuesday and my to-do list would take weeks to complete if I didn't even have nightly homework, but unfortunately I do, and unfortunately I have actual things that I do outside of come to class for however many hours. I still have complete confidence in myself that I'll get my act together. I'll leave it at that because I can already feel a counter-argument to that statement.

Hamlet Act II Scene I, II

ACT II

Scene I

• Polonius tells Reynaldo to go to Paris to check on Laertes
• Can you get a sense of his character by the company he keeps
• Reynaldo doesn’t want to dishonor Laertes
• Polonius lost train of thought
• talks more than he thinks
• “your bait of falsehood takes this carp of truth”
• “by indirections, find directions out”
• fake it til you make it

·         Ophelia talks to Polonius

o   Hamlet came in lost, half dressed, for a brief minute

o   Like he’s in this dark and she’s in the light

o   There in misery

o   Polonius asks if he’s lovesick because Ophelia hasn’t let herself be seen by Hamlet since the convo^

·         Hamlet could be faking it,  could be grieving, could be lovesick like Polonius said…

o   Shakespeare leaves open

Scene II

·         Claudius is telling people to do the same that Polonius told Reynaldo

o   Talk to elicit information

o   Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

o   They’re going to be paid

·         Implied that Claudius knows (thinks) Hamlet’s going crazy

·         Polonius is back, the other two leave

o   False humility

·         Older Fortinbras (who’s alive actually) didn’t like what young Fortinbras was doing so he arrested him. They want to peacefully come through Denmark to fight the Polish

·         “brevity is the soul of wit”

o   confirms Polonius’ and Claudius’ …

·         they’re wondering what’s up with Hamlet

o   Gertrude was right I her assumption that Hamlet’s acting weird because of their quick marriage and king’s death.

o   Polonius thinks it’s bec he can’t see Ophelia

·         Hamlet Enters

o   Calls Polonius a fish monger

§  Insult

§  Throws off Polonius,not on his guard if he thinks Hamlet has lost it

·         “though this be madness, yet there is method in it”

o   Polonius breaks the fourth wall

o   He sees how Hamlet’s responses have double meanings

·         Enter Rosencrantz and Giuldenstern

·         “What a piece of work is a man”

o   Hamlet

o   cliché

o   theme of the play

§  man can do so much great in creating and being genuine and everything else awesome that humans can do

§  man can also destroy and be evil and do awful things

·         Hamlet to his friends

o   “Denmark is a prison”

§  he’s not allowed to leave

o   he knows that the two were sent for by the king and queen and they admit it

o   Hamlet tells them that he’s not his usual self

o   He tells them that he’s sort of mad

§  Testing whether or not they are going to tell the king and queen what he says and if they can be trusted

·         There’s a play coming to the castle

o   The friends tell Hamlet that the actors don’t take things seriously anymore

·         Polonius enters

o   He wants the play to be a lighthearted comedy, for fun

o   He exits

·         Hamlet tries to get the first player (actor) to tell a story about a king who gets caught in a scandal

o   Aha

o   Murder of Gontago

o   He wants to insert 16 of his own lines

o   “the play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king”

§  if the king and queen make it visible in public their guilt, then Hamlet has something to build from in credibility

·         Hamlet’s soliloquy #2

o   Hamlet’s beating himself up

o   Compares himself to the actor

§  He can’t make himself act on what he needs to do

o   Feels like a coward being private

o   Nobody’s giving him tough love

o   If he could speak out, talk is cheap

§  Actions speak louder than words

§  Doing the deed is required

o   Integrity = integrating word, action, & deed

o   The play within the play

§  When he wants the players to act out his father’s death and prove it by the king and queen’s reactions

·         Evidence

·         He wants everyone’s guard’s down

o   That’s why he’s acting crazy

Hamlet Act I Scene III, IV, V

ACT I

Scene III

• Hamlet likes Ophelia
• "toy in blood" feeling, feels good,but not a good idea
• Laertes is giving Ophelia advice
• watch out ,he might like her now, but he's a prince and has a duty to the state 
• brotherly love, but he understands this
• She'll follow his advice as best as she can, but he can't do whatever he wants
• Polonius comes to give advice to Laertes
• he's giving good advice
• think before speaking
• quality over quantity friendship
• integrity
• cautel = caution

Scene IV

• King is having a party and Hamlet knows that they're looked down upon by other kingdoms
• they're all at night watch, ghost comes back, Marcellus, Hamlet, Horatio there
• the two won't let him go
• they think he'll be crazy for going with/following the king's ghost
• "something is rotten in the state of Denmark"

Scene V

• King speaks to Hamlet
• he's in purgatory for his misdeeds, if he told the specifics, Hamlet would freak
• he was murdered
•  poison poured in ear while he was sleeping in the garden
• it was a "snake", the snake wears the crown

• Claudius seduced Gertrude before old Hamlet was killed
• he wasn't allowed last rights (confession) and died in a state of sin, therefore purgatory
• not young Hamlet's decision to punish Gertrude
• Old tells young to get revenge
• "I have sworn't" Hamlet
• Hamlet, for the rest of the play has to be a man, keep to his morals, kill his uncle, inner turmoil to balance all
• Horatio and Marcellus are made to swear not to remember this, or whatever they saw
• "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dream't in your philosophy"
• nothing will make him say it, say nothing at all
• "the time is out of joint; o cursed spite, that ever I was born to set it right"
• His reason for being,purpose in life from here on out, Hamlet kill Claudius
• Revenge itself is self-destructive
• every day he doesn't do it, he feels lesser

Success... How Bad Do You Want It?

Thank you Elizabeth for reminding me about this video! I heard it once last year at the Latinos Unidos Conference when Mr. Soto talked to us about goals. Last night Liz told me to watch it again and I managed to push through at 1:00 a.m. to get my homework done. It really makes you question yourself and all that you're about; why am I doing what I'm doing? Watch it when you need to be motivated to get your work done, it really helps!

"How to Better Prepare"

Shout out to Nesper for putting this on his board earlier today (much earlier) because almost everyone failed the test. It's going to help me in a few classes this year and even with college apps and stuff. I've got to take initiative and go in to ask for help- even if I have to sacrifice other things to do so. "Life lessons from Nesper" :)

Hamlet Act I Scene II

• Claudius is the king and was old Hamlet's brother, now he married the widow queen (young Hamlet's mother)
• he tells everyone to grieve, but move on from the king's death
• "[aside] A little more than kin, and less than kind."
• Hamlet's first line of the play
• situational irony
• audience knows something to be true when other characters don't
• like when Julius Caesar went to the place to be killed
• Claudius is his uncle but not his dad
• he's not too crazy about Claudius
• Hamlet isn't going to let Claudius in
• Hamlet says what actually happens isn't what it seems
• you can act sad but aren't
• he's calling other people out for going through the motions and not really caring
• you cant understand his feelings by looking at him
• visage: facial expression
• Claudius tells him that he's next in line for the throne, but he wants him to stay home and not return to school
• he had just told Lairtes that he could
• Hamlet's first monologue
• "Hyperion to a satyr"
• he doesn't want to be there
• he's really, really angry
• he'd kill himself out of wanting to leave the situation because he's so mad having to see it all- not sadness
• angry at his mother for marrying his uncle
• too quick
• means that she didn't love older Hamlet that much
• betrayal to old and young Hamlets
• he's judging Claudius and his mother
• "Within a month" repeated
• Horatio and Marcellus come to tall Hamlet about the ghost
• Hamlet is very investigative
• dispassionate and interested in details
• logical and matter of fact
• as a prince he approaches them mature and humble
• shows his character, indirect characterization
• he's trusting of their information
• this shows how Hamlet can go from a monologue full of his emotions, rage and anger, to hiding that and being cool and calm
• he wants to see the ghost
• Polonius is maulipulative
• The queen's allegiance is with powe
• Hamlet can by portrayed in so many different ways

Does he not like his mother anymore? Did he before?
Was Hamlet somewhere before returning to the castle? Did he leave school for his father's funeral?
Is Hamlet going to have to adjust being back in the castle?

I really like young Hamlet. I can connect with how he can say a lot and feel a lot on the inside, but change gears. At the moment I'm not doing too well at hiding it.

Hamlet Act I Scene I

• Bernardo relieves the other guard
• Horatio and Marcellus come
• Horatio didn't believe that the king's ghost had come before
• the king's ghost did come in the presence of all three
• the king is dead for going to war with Fortinbras,
• who is also dead and had to give up his land to king Hamlet
• young Fortinbras is old, dead F's nephew
• this kid is butt hurt and won't give up the land and is trying to keep it
• Hamlet (old one, the king) 's ghost came back and won't speak
•  Horatio thinks that he will speak to Hamlet

What exactly happened to the king? Did he die in battle with old Fortinbras who also died at that war?